employs his master's degree in mathematics during shows to calculate LPMs (laughs per minute) on-the-fly. He uses the results to develop algorithms which subsequently govern the precise combination of nouns, verbs, adjectives and subjects required in each sentence he utters to produce the greatest return (relating to perceived hilarity). He engages in this endeavor to help support his wife and kids because teaching pays so well. Adrian's presence in the United States is legal and documented.

is rarely involved in a scene in which the size of his noggin is not disparagingly introduced. In his defense, a capacious noggin is required to contain his voluminous brain (it's a Pentium D with hyper-threading technology). Toss in his BA in physics and he's actually running out of real estate up there. Although Carl could invoke Wolfgang Pauli's Exclusion Principal to induce humor at a subatomic level in your mind at the same instant his brain atoms wax funny - he prefers to do it the old fashioned way. 

See Grandma? I told you!! I AM IN A SHOW! A BIG fancy show ... with lights and everything! They let me be in the show and I didn't have to make sandwiches or anything. The audience people laugh and clap when I am in the show. Sometimes I laugh and clap too - but I am not supposed to.

began his performance career as a musician, continued as an actor, and is now producer and director of Impulse Theater. His rare appearances on stage are a thing of beauty - truly something to behold. [Editor's note: John was the only actor permitted to write his own bio.]

attended the prestigious American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York after which she toured the USA with the Manhattan Dance Project. Her climb to fame continued with her ascension to finalist on the original TV reality show "Pop Stars," but took a turn for the worse with an appearance on "Busted on Animal Planet." In a completely unrelated (albeit traumatic) incident, a chicken once pooped on her head. Libby now performs at Impulse in a therapeutic capacity.

is an aspiring motion picture writer/actor/director/editor currently pursuing his film degree. If his left calf looks familiar to you it's probably because you saw the trailer park commercial (aired in 1995) in which that specific part of his anatomy appeared. Known as "Maverick" to himself, Marshall is a reformed mullet wearer who confesses a man-crush on Tom Cruise and claims to share a birthday with Suri (Tom's child).

is a graduate of Indiana University who sells, and teaches doctors to use, fancy new-fangled non-invasive surgical instruments. He is the primary reason you can have the internal organ of your choice removed/replaced as an outpatient procedure. Michael’s involvement with Impulse has a “hokey-pokey” quality about it. He puts his whole self in (for a few years), he puts his whole self out (to perform with Second City). Currently he has put his whole self back in and is shaking it all about.

graduated with a BA in Marketing & Advertising from the University of South Dakota. His first attempt to exercise his degree found him selling beds in Denver (creepy, huh?). One month and ninety-four "research naps" later his Posturepedic® profession was put to rest when he accepted his current position with Impulse - working day and night. Vic is wicked-rad at foosball, and yes - his sideburns are professionally trimmed for your viewing pleasure.

is a whack-a-mole-like attention hog. We kick him out of the sound booth and he pops up on stage. We kick him off stage and he pops up in the sound booth. We kick him out of the theater and he pops up on other Denver area stages. "Daddy needs his juice," is his only explanation. Chris claims to have created a new English vernacular by adding the suffix "skies" to the majority of his vocabulary. It's endearing in an annoying kind of way.

graduated from the University of Northern Colorado with a degree in acting and has danced ballet professionally. This education is invaluable at her day job (cocktailing at Maggiano's Little Italy) where she gracefully delivers drinks to people she's pretending to like. Don't worry, when you see her there she won't be pretending - she'll really like you.